Bike spotter’s guide – some key varieties of rider to look out for

There were over 500 people riding every day (more including the people doing 1 day stages or team relays) so you couldn’t get to know everyone, but we became pretty familiar with the other riders in our part of the group (ie. people in the top half of finishers most days, who started off fairly promptly and would be at the food stops and finish line around the same times as we were). Pretty much everyone was nice and friendly, but it was still fun to poke gentle fun out of some of the following...

·         The Racers – Can usually be sensed in advance by the whirring of deep rimmed racing wheels and the whiff of testosterone as they charge past in a pack. A mix of young sporty types who just like being the best at everything and older committed cyclists who like to tell themselves that they could probably have turned pro if they’d got into cycling when they were younger. Although nominally friends and/or working together, these types all just want to beat each other (and everyone else)

·         The reluctant racers – Guys who are quite fast but not quite as fast as the friends that they have come with. They alternate between clinging on to the race pack for dear life or admitting defeat and finding a more appropriate group to ride with. Particularly evident on the flatter days looking shattered and envious when everyone else was talking about what an easy day they’d had.

·         The cycle nerd – A committed cyclist for decades, this type likes to educate the wider peleton on the intricacies and history of cycling etiquette and regale them with tales of previous trips, bicycle componentry etc. Dislikes racers (too vulgar, not enough respect for aforementioned intricacies and history of cycling etiquette)

·         The gadget freak – A close cousin of the cycle nerd and the racer, this type is fully equipped with the latest technology to measure performance – Garmin GPS unit, cadence sensor, heart rate monitor, power meter. Uses the word ‘nutrition’ instead of food. Uses gadgets to compare stats with others, point out all inaccuracies in the data provided by the organisers and explain his own poor performance, as in “I think I got my nutrition strategy wrong today” (I should have eaten another flapjack), or “I’m not sure what happened this afternoon but my power output declined and I wasn’t at my optimal heart rate” (I got tired and I couldn’t keep up)

·         The lone ranger – Fairly self explanatory. Used to training along, dislikes the chitchat, compromise and faffing that can come with riding in a group (slowing down when someone else gets tired, stopping if they get a puncture etc). Will fall in behind a group when necessary (ie. to shelter from the wind) but will usually speed off ahead before it’s their turn to do any work on the front

·         The ‘prepared for anything’ cyclist – Carries a rucksack or giant saddlebag filled with clothing for any occasion, multiple snacks, tools, spare parts etc. Despite the fact that there is a pitstop every 35 miles offering food, drinks, mechanical support etc.